Where did my joy go

I met with another grieving parent today who said it took 7 years to feel normal after losing his daughter in a car wreck.  I've witnessed a musician who lost his toddler to a sudden illness continue to deliver his passion for Christ through his art. I've talked with two other mothers who lost children to suicide. One before and one after my experience.  Even though each story is unique, there is a common thread among us all that can never be fully explained only felt. It pains me to know that others have experienced the death of a child. I see the absence of a joy that must have once existed. I don't know if that ever returns.

My joy has been stolen for a season. I pray to God to help restore it. I read and seek wisdom to find it. But honestly,  I just don't have the energy to fight for it. I am unable to think myself into a better way of feeling at this point. I'm not me. Although it seems like there should be some understanding and grace in a season like this, it is absent. Where did my joy go? What happens if it doesn't come back?

Original post 11/21/2013